Obama vs. Hillary McCain – How Barack Saved My Gnocchi

Yesterday, I spent the better part of the day preparing a nice dinner for a family birthday gathering. The Osso Buco was led by a modest serving of Gnocchi con Pesto Crema. Now every knowledgeable cook knows that Idaho potatoes are a wonderful ingredient for light and airy Gnocchi, providing a little care is used in the preparation.

Miraculously, I was able to accomplish this task while listening to alternating streams of Hillary and McCain employing sub-sonic technique in order to hammer Barack Obama for being an eloquent purveyor of his vision and hopeful for America’s future. They systematically ignore the fact, that he’s called on American’s as volunteers and as part of a civilian corps in order to accomplish a great deal of the ‘hope’ segment of his wish list. Further to that end, the corporate media has not been very enthusiastic about portraying his call for volunteers, national service and education – and rather, prefer talk about the battles between Hillary vs. McCain, Hillary vs. Barack.  They (Clinton and McCain camps) call on Obama for substantive examples of his plan – yet he delivers them in every speech – and Hillary, McCain and the corporate press ignore the dialog in the manner of strawmanesque politics.

Clinton and McCain have systematically ignored the central point of Obama’s campaign and have been most deceitful and dishonest. I don’t use these words lightly. Along with our current White House – I consider Hillary Clinton to be as accomplished a liar as Bill Clinton and John McCain. Or as I like to think of them – ‘Hillary McCain’. I do not recommend executing delicate maneuvers in the kitchen with very sharp cutting implements or boiling water while listening to the ‘Hillary McCain’ speechify.

Add Chris Matthews to this mix and I’m turning into a screaming lunatic actually jumping off the ground because my hands are full of hot potato, egg and flour, preventing me from slamming them into my butcher block mis en place. Matthews, the gossip lummox of tabloid TV clearly in need of emergency psycho-therapy, begins to talk of sensations up his leg when he hears Obama speak. Dry heaves notwithstanding, his curious comment stirs up more distraction from the central point.

Now I must remove the small bloody potato area from the pile of freshly flaked Idaho, bandage my finger and get back to work before my mixture cools too much. There’s parsley caught on my shoe and I’ve nearly twisted my ankle on the last three-foot leap off the ground. There’s a good chance this is all going to be stored in the garbage pail until trash day. Nonetheless we persevere while the aroma of the braising Osso Buco begins to tamp my Calabrese genetic predisposition for Vendetta.

Hillary McCain is ready on day-one. As crazy Uncle Nunzio always says, “Stockholm syndrome – they love each other”. In fact, if they don’t love each other they should – because they can reinforce each other’s arguments and stir up anti-Obama sentiment by agreeing with each other. Obama has to run against both of them right now (three if you consider Bubba,) which really makes them one. Add a few dashes of Matthews mind-boggling adoration when Hillary McCain, with a back-drop of Octogenarians in order to feel youthful, calmly announces, with the voice of an undertaker – Hope …. is Dead … don’t listen to Obama. Me and even the guys behind me from the Washington Mutual commercial … we know … Hope is Dead. Obama is a dreamer. We know hope is dead … We killed it !

Hillary McCain – Same Ole, Same Ole – the way you like it.

By this point I’ve realized that my fancy Bluetooth set-up, permitting me to select stream audio to tether-free speakers may be more dangerous than I had considered. I’m muttering incessantly like Darren McGavin’s character fixing the coal furnace in ‘A Christmas Story” while negotiating several near misses with a large pot of boiling water. At one point, I’m so distracted that I nearly reach into the oven without oven mitts in order to check on the Veal. I realize I need change, I want change … I must have change.

When I return from my home office, the stream is now Obama. I have set the next 4 pod casts of Obama. I start to get calm. Its hard to not notice how important he believes words are – because he choses them well and speaks them most believably.

Hillary McCain is quietly reduced to a scab  now forming on my thumb and small bit of bloody potato dough in the bin. Even Matthew’s earlier Larry Craig-ish proclamations and those famous south-paw dubs suggesting Obama’s speeches are ‘lofty,’ can’t harden my grip on the gentle touch needed to make those airy pillows of potato pasta. The fork tines have created the perfect sauce catching ridges for the creamy Pesto mixture that will be lightly tossed with the Gnocchi before plating. The atmosphere is calm, the timing is perfect and mood is set.

I’ve decided that I’ll listen to the rest of the Hillary McCain bluster while I split some logs later. At least I can put them to good use.


4 Responses

  1. Your use of Chris Matthews at key points was the perfect way to quell the hunger pangs of your delicious article. Wonderful perspective and very enjoyable writing. More, more. When is the Web Novel starting ??

  2. Hello FT – Thanks for the kind words – don’t have definite date yet for the Webbook other than as soon as possible. Thanks for your interest.

  3. Hey, on a lighter side, check out this wonderful Obama site: http://obamawill.com

  4. Some might consider that Web site to be offensive – I didn’t – The premise is quite funny with a Second City type of Lampooning. Thanks Bill

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